Wednesday, 6 June 2007

Weight gains countered through the power of poop

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The true purpose of this exercise is to perfect the new dieting technique known as scatology dieting. Fun and games aside, we are trying to achieve weight loss through sizeable turds. Today is a black day for our charts.

I weigh myself in at 14st 6.5lbs. This is the heaviest I have been since I began charting my weight and, whilst it holds some hope for a gargantuan poop, it is with my head down that I take the slow walk through the publishing department and off to visit Ivor.

I am having a poo
I come out of the cubicle veritably whistling to myself. It was large enough to give me hope, although, deep in my heart I know I shall be lucky to get back down to 200lbs even. My 4lb poop last month was a freak occurrence and I am under no illusion as to the chances of a repeat performance.
Dropping my shoes off at my desk, I head back to the MD's office to discover my fate.

14st 4lbs - it was a 2.5lb my whippy. None too shoddy, but the behemothic proportions of my mass have taken the sheen from today's toilet trip.

And after the office girl bought me Bran flakes for breakfast as well. I don't know.

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