Thursday, 20 September 2007

Mass margins.

Digg this

I really do not want to be awake.

Given that my daughters can all manage to sleep through every night, why in the name of all that is holy can I not?

Anyway, I weigh a bleary eyed 190.4lbs.

I am having a (massive) poo

That was simply enormous. I seriously could have used that to bury a small hatchback. It was like a bloody cement mixer unloading. Blimey! I weight . . . 190.3lbs.

What's that all about?

I feel cheated of my rightful weight loss. If ever there was a poo that would assure me of being below my ideal weight, that there was it.


I am at work now. It's Thursday, which is a busy working day for me, but I am tired and apathetic - I really seem to lack enthusiasm for anything at all at the moment. Perhaps it's my time of the month?

I weigh 193.6lbs.

I am having a poo

And that was tiny. It was as if I held a rabbit over the pan and shook it gently for 20 seconds. Despite this, I weigh 193lbs.

A 12th of the size and 6 times the weight? I am perplexed by all of this. I think I'll go and buy some shares in Northern Rock.

Thanks(?) to Rupert for this:


Sloppy Ploppy said...

Only in this place do I feel it is appropriate to share my own recent findings - indeed I hope that the following will spur you on to bigger doings.

Three times now I've steadily quaffed a couple of litres of water whilst enjoying the benefits of a lunchtime Sauna. Fifteen minutes in the hot box, ten to cool down and then the urge comes upon me.

An absolute deluge of slurry is evacuated the moment arse meets seat - sometimes a close call I can tell you.

Is it just me?

You can get a free pass from Fitness First or The Pyramids and redecorate their bowls.

NB I recommend you stay on the premises - a nearby shower is areassuring comfort

Lord Manley said...

What worries me most about this is that I am immediately aware of who you are.

bagel said...

Perhaps you have helium in your poops?

Lord Manley said...

Aero poo peradventure?

Hmm, it seems unlikely, although today (Saturday) I appear to have found sweetcorn from nowhere, so anything is possible.