Bigger, but not better.

Well, A splendid morning and I weigh 191.6lbs.

This is not a bad weight and I have high hopes for a below ideal weight this day.

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I am having a poo
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Well, 190.9lbs is not far off. I'm off to work early to get something achieved, since I am getting somewhat behind at the moment and I really need to do some normal old fashioned programming by, well, this time last week.

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A second poo! I weigh . . . 198.4lbs!

How did that happen? I had a mince pie at lunch time, (thanks to Christmas being in the shops already) but 198.4lbs?

This had better be a massive poo, or I shall want to know the reason why.

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I am having a poo
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I weigh 194.8lbs. To be fair, a 3.6lb poo is a good size, but still.

I need to lose some weight.

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I was going to leave that there, but a colleague has just had a moan because I have not done enough work and 'it simply isn't on' and I 'should do some bloody work, other than just measuring your poos' and "rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb", so sod it, I'm writing more out of pure spite.

That and a strong urge to kill, as I have been trained to do since I could first hold an air-gun, my first of which only had a cork on a string.

I dream of blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. I desire dead, burned bodies. I need to kill women, children, houses and villages. I mean kill. Kill. KILL.

As may have been previously stated, if you do not know who Arlo Guthrie is then you really need to find out.

[UPDATE: As I was writing this a small stuffed sheep appeared on my desk with a post-it note speech bubble which reads "You haven't written enough audits and it simply isn't on rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb rhub...", which has pleased me.]