Sunday, 12 August 2007

Slow metabolism?

Digg this

Well, you've all heard fat bloaters complaining that it's down to their having a 'slow metabolism' and thought to yourself 'bollocks, you just need to eat less lard, you tubby fool', right? Well, I would be the very first to agree with you.

That said, I have noticed that, of late, I have been slipping above my ideal weight and, resultantly, almost certainly hitting above my ideal BMI.

Certainly this morning's 193.1lbs leaves much to be desired. I have come straight from my bed to the bathroom for some serious weight loss activities. I've put in the training, with fish and chips, Indian, beer, port, wine, gin, a lb of cheese and a decent row down the canal to the Double Locks and back (where, as an aside, the covers band did an instrumental of 7 seconds of Love's Ninja, which pleased me greatly), as well as drinking enough tea to sink not only a battleship, but also any retained vessels normally used for skirting around the bows, scraping off the barnacles, painting, repairing and the like.

I am having a poo

Well, loathe as I am to admit it, but it looks like yesterday's panic about the ineffectiveness of a mixture of Kenyan beer and Indian cuisine was misplaced. I clearly have a metabolism which delays the effects of a really good curry for a day or two.

Either that or a pint of Yellow Hammer has a good bowel loosening effect.

Either way, I now weigh (Ooh, what horrible prose) 189.9lbs.


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