Thursday 23 August 2007

Ah-ah-ah-ah-! Staying at home! Staying at home!

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It's relatively early on a Thursday morning, the dustmen have yet to begin strewing litter around the street and clashing bin lids together, yet the darkness has lifted enough to allow the faint glow of the sun on the rain clouds to penetrate my poorly closed curtains.

The newest recruit to Team Manley is lying, gurgling in her crib. Waking up and not screaming is about as splendid a thing as a bairn can do and it is with a heart laden with affection for my clan that I weave my merry way to visit Ivor, contemplating, as I go, where the bin-lids are sourced from in these days when the bags need to be left outside of receptacles if they wish to be collected, in case of back injuries for the refuse collection operatives.

I weigh in at 194lbs, which is, whilst still well over the recommended daily allowance of Manley, still quite a leap forward (or downwards) from yesterday's obesity.

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I am having a poo
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Post poo I seem to weigh 192.8lbs. That's 192.8lbs of Manley who, now that the children are home and Tom has descended upon us in an unexpected, but very welcome, manner, is loathe to leave the fair maiden Jim alone at home, following her being rushed off to the municipal hospital on Tuesday night with suspected duffness.

I think that I must elect to work from home today, which is actually a bit of a bugger and I'd rather have done it yesterday. Ah well, such is life.

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Having killed my laptop I am using a work one which, inexcusably, not only lacks a WiFi card, but also has a space for an internal one, but it appears to be blocked off by the manufacturer. Matthewparker might still have the PCMIA cards which Marky gave us when we lived at #42, but until he finds them I am left working at the window-seat on a network cable. That said, not having an internet connection is no barrier to typing my blog, so without further ado I am off to the bathroom.

I appear to weigh an enormous 198.7lbs, but I then realise that, without the laptop (which must, therefore, weigh around 5.3lbs) I weigh only 193.4lbs

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I am having a poo
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Clearly it takes far less time to copy and paste the legend 'I am having a poo' from further up in this post than it does to defecate, so I am left with a void to fill. Hmm, what to say? How do you get a fat girl into bed? Piece of cake. No, that's too silly. I don't know - perhaps I'll just stop typing.

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I am washing my hands
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(and trying not to electrocute myself).

I weigh (now that I am back at my window-seat) 191.2lbs, which is not too shoddy really, all things considered.

That aside, I have other news. News that is probably worth a post of its own, now I come to think of it.

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