Aero!

According to the entry in the patent database, Aero bars are formed by a method involving chocolate in a liquid state on the verge of solidifying. Air is run through the chocolate with a vacuum as it cools (in the form of many very small bubbles), resulting in evenly distributed bubbles throughout the bar and a honeycomb-like texture.

The exact procedure for making the bubbles is a closely guarded secret. The question of how the bubbles are so evenly distributed throughout the chocolate was the subject of a question in one issue of New Scientist, which made it into the compendium of readers' questions "Does Anything Eat Wasps?". A spokesperson for Nestlé provided some clues but there has been no definitive answer.

Coming from a generation that called Nestlé 'nessalls' and had their Aero bars manufactured by Rowntree Mackintosh, I can't say that I have ever really worried too much. The Aero hot chocolate I buy is very nice, but I have always been of the opinion that my industrial milkshake machine is what puts the bubbles in. Now I suddenly am intrigued.

I weighed in at 195.6lbs this morning, which is a little over 14st, but I did have my shoes on, so it's not a worry. I then visited the little boy's room (which strangely appears to be full of female coat hangars today. That is female as in with female sizes on them, rather than actually female coat hangars. There are certainly both male and female coat hangars there, given the rate at which they appear to be multiplying).

As you will no doubt be aware, My Lordship shies away from graphic descriptions of the actual event. This experiment is about weight loss, not pornography for coprophiles. Today is going to be slightly more graphic so, if you don't want to read about it, simply avoid the area of text between the bars.

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I did a simply enormous turd. Massive diameter and well above average in length. Surely a candidate for the heaviest yet?

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I weigh myslef back in at 195.2lbs. That's less than half a pound of poop.

Bloody Nestlé!