Thursday, 22 November 2007

Mad woman, why dost thou assail me?

Digg this

A disabled woman, looked like an octogenarian, pulled across in front of me as I approached the office, causing me to get stuck against her wing. She then shouted abuse at me for several minutes, whilst my colleagues watched and, on occasion, cheered.

Choice moments include:

"I didn't pull out in front of you, you were far away!"
I am ashamed to admit that I had suddenly stopped being far away, in order to suddenly be on her wing, using my quantum bicycle.

"You think you have the right to the road!"
Strangely, I always have thought this. I can only remain eternally grateful that she pointed out the error of my ways.

In response to my saying that I had right of way, as dictated by the white lines across the end of the road she had exited:
"Yes, and you should be on those white lines."

In response to my "Did you not hear me shouting?"
That's just the problem, you were shouting and not keeping out of my way.

Indicating the road:
You shouldn't be on here, this is for cars.

I ended by saying Please, please don't go away from this thinking that some oik was in your way in the street. Please learn that today you pulled out without due care and nearly killed a cyclist.

Sadly I was angry with her, not for pulling out on me, but for being so dim, and added: Now go away and think about it, you silly little girl. If you were any younger I'd put you over my knee and spank you.

I weigh 195.6lbs

I am having a poo

I weigh 191.2 - It didn't seem that big, but I'm not complaining.

Rather than leaving you with another 'Manley angry with world' shocker, who wants to see a seventeen year old in the shower?

Also, I made a thing:

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