It's my mother's birthday, so I shall go out for lunch, but first I need to have a poo. If I am going to maintain my weight loss in line with my dieting, programme without proper management of my calorific intake, then I need to manage some superb turdage.
I weigh 195.2lbs, which I scrawl in purple on the blackboard and settle down to attend to the serious business of shedding those extra pounds.
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I am having a poo
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Grasping the purple chalk in my grubby (well, actually clean since I have just washed my hands, for the obvious reasons) mitts, I weigh myself again. That's 193.2lbs (I am going to assume that the purple chalk (more lilac than mauve) has a mass which can be discounted from calculations).
A 2lb poop before I even get dressed, what's not to like?
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There is almost nobody at work today, it seems. I received orchids in the post this morning, which was nice, but now I need another poop.
According to the body fat measuring scales in the exec office, which can work out my weight, my margin from my ideal weight, my body fat, my BMI and all manner of other dieting data in kg, lbs, stone and possibly carrots, and which I use to weigh myself on, I am 197.4lbs pre-weightloss.
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I am having a poo
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196.4lbs. What conveniently round weights my poops are today. I have been watching this chap counting to 1000000 today and also playing this excellent game from meehawl.com:
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