Types of poo.

1. GHOST POO : You know you've pooed. There is poo on the toilet paper but none in the toilet.
2. TEFLON COATED POO : Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the toilet paper, you have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it.
3. GOOEY POO : This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe 12 time and you still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underpants so you don't stain them. This poo leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
4. SECOND THOUGHT POO : You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise it, you've got some more.
5. POP A VEIN VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD POO : This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.
6. WEIGHT WATCHERS POO [Manley: Aha!]: You poo so much that you loose several kilograms.
7. RIGHT NOW POO : You better be within 30 seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber getting there. Usually, it has its head out before you get your pants down.
8. KING KONG POO : This one is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger works well. This kind of poo usually happens at someone else's house.
9. CORK POO : ( Also known as a floater.) Even after the third flush, it's still floating in the bowel. My god. How do I get rid of it ??
10. WET CHEEKS POO : This poo hits the water sideways and makes a big splash that gets you all wet.
11. WISH POO : You sit there all cramped up for a few minutes, but no poo.
12. CEMENT BLOCK POO : You wish that you'd gotten a spinal block before you pooed.
13. SNAKE POO : This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb, and at least three feet long.
14. MEXICAN FOOD POO : ( Also called the screamer.) You know it's okay to eat again when your bum stops burning.
15. BEER DRUNK AND MEAT PIE POO : This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poos don't smell too bad, but this one is BAD !!. Usually this happens at someone else's house and there is someone standing outside the door waiting to use the bathroom.

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