Pop along to www.snipurl.com/havingapoo and check how much of my daily weight is actually effluent.
I really think that we have hit upon a breakthrough in dieting techniques. Sod hints, tips and general starvation. Eat what you like, then eat more. The more you consume, the more you poo and the lbs will just fall off.
I cannot work out how to edit posts using my PDA, so I am having to do this the slow way. If anyone knows how then I'd be delighted to hear from you.
The way I see it, the true path to substantial weight loss lies in massive turds.
How best to create massive turds? Massive dinners.
I'm going to poop out some lbs tomorrow after this puppy.
Again with the 3/4lb turd. Why are they not bigger after a day without? I was expecting 1.5lbs at the very least.
I will never lose weight if I can't do bigger shits.
We, as a department, went canoeing yesterday afternoon, with appropriate associated beer consumption, after which, my mother having the children at the moment, Jim and I were able to pop down the Prospect for a snack.
6 pints later and having gorged myself on both a curry and a chilli I crawled into bed, safe in the knowledge that I had not yet excreted and that Wednesday should see some pretty impressive weight loss.
I am going to go and weigh myself, have a poop and then weigh myself again.
I rather fancy that nothing will be learned from this at all, but I think that the baby is on its way, from Jim's general demeanour, which is a worry as it appears not to have engaged properly yet, so a poop will take my mind off it.
If you are not a scatologist, it may interest you to know that I fell off my bicycle (or at least, Gav's bicycle) at the BMX track last night and am unable to walk properly and have weeping sores. I did get a snakeboard though. When was the last time you realised that you aren't as young as you though you were?
I have gone from 15st 8lbs to 14st in a month and a half. The truth is that this had less to do with being overweight (My Lordship is fairly lanky and has no real immediate need to be slim, what with having nearly 3 children and, consequently, a wife who is unlikely to flee to better climes) and more to do with being better at losing weight than Millie, our office girl.
