SWEETCORN!

There is really very little in life as pleasing as a really good sweetcorn poo.

In light of this I set about feeding myself as much sweetcorn last night as I could manage and I woke up this morning weighing 191.3lbs. After yesterday's pathetic weight loss session, I am not sure that it is appropriate to get excited about my target weight until I have actually achieved it.

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I am having a poo
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Well, the results are both pleasing and disappointing in pretty much equal measure. My weight stands at 189.7lbs, so I am below my target weight (which is my ideal weight as calculated by a randomly selected BMI website) but my dietary intake of sweetcorn has not made itself apparent in my final product.

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Well, I am at work now - I put my back out last night, so I am hobbling around like Albert Steptoe, but that doesn't stop me limping my way to the Exec Office and getting on the scales. The bloody office teen has set them to stone again and, not being able to bend, I have to convolutely flip it and slide the switch with a combination of footwork and swearing, but eventually I discover that I weigh 194.2lbs.

Since I have eaten an orange and drunk only a few cups of tea, this is an unwelcome surprise and so the sooner I get down to losing weight the better.

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I am having a poo
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Good news all round - I weigh 189.8lbs, so that was a 4.4lb poo (woo! yay! and, indeed, hooplah!) and the sweetcorn was available in abundance.

Joy is me, sayeth the cleansed.