It's Two Poop Monday!

Yes, that's right - It's quarter past five and I need another poo. The weight must be literally falling off me now. I weigh in at 14st 4.75lbs.
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I am having a poo
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Oooh! 14st 3.75lbs - that makes today a 3lb of poop day. And they said my dieting technique would never work.

I was just accused by our MD (in who's office the scales live) of showing anorexic tendencies. Bollocks. When I look in the mirror and see a fat man it is because there is a fat man looking in the mirror.

Of course, you will now have noticed that I have, momentarily at least, surpassed my ideal weight, so I had better cut down on the beer for a couple of days, eh?