Today I became locked in the lavatory with no paper.
This would be less irritating if it were not for two aggravating factors:
The toilet roll dispenser takes two rolls, each huge to the point of ridicule, so that when one is empty a slide allows access to the second. Sadly the second was not there today. I have yet to kill the cleaner.
David, bless him, came to my rescue by bringing a life-size cardboard cut-out of Lawrence Dallaglio into the toilets and assaulting the cubicle.
Thankfully he assaulted the cubicle next to me and I was able to get some paper and return to a full ovation in the office.